Imagine This

Each of us is 100% responsible for the quality of the relationship or situation (including getting heard and understood): no victims and no blaming, just noticing our choices and the resulting consequences. We deal directly with our differences, see and acknowledge how each of us is contributing to the problem or situation and decide on how each of us will contribute to the solution.

And this:

Relationships throughout your organization are characterized by accountable openness rather than fear.  Accountable openness means I can find out directly from you how you feel about me, my work, and how it is to work with me anytime I want to know. We do not collude to withhold from one another. I ask straight (not loaded, manipulative) questions and give straight answers. We do not water-down or sugarcoat. We know “brutally honest” for what it is: mean-spirited “feedback” such as put-downs, cheap-shots, unloading, telling someone off or getting even. We subscribe only to its opposite: accountable openness.

 

You can not be accountable without being open. You can be honest without being open, but you can not be open without also being honest.